Time's ticking

it's so hard to close my eyes when my mind is too full of thoughts. Problems dropped by one after another. Just when i thought that i managed to get things right.
My trust is fading...vows were broken. The single path we crossed end up in 2 directions, which shall be chosen, i dunno..

I prioritize bond, long term happiness and meaningful life. Time is short..
90 days = 2160 hours
Sleep : (720)
School : (144)
Asgnmnt : (128)
exam : (120)
Others : (105)
Time left : 943 hours = 39.3 days max.

unexpected return

I never expect that i would somehow return on blogspotting.lmao
it's a surprise, but here i am.

I was once turned myself into someone that i'm not, just to make an impression of "hi-i'm here-please notice me" and it surely didn't work out well. I know it never did. I'm basically born ignorant, and it's like the attitude that flows through all my veins and cells.

And I dunno why, i got a quite serious disease called " non-expressionistkimia". I ain't the type that let everyone knows about what i think and feel. To be precise, i dunno how.

It may not seem like it, but believe me i'm trying what i could to express myself about how i felt. Seems simple, but believe me, it's not for me. For those who had known me for years, they might be surprised of how much do i reveal myself to someone. Yet, i know it's not enough and please give me time to continue revealing fractions of my life.

Like an old saying, if there's a will, there'll be a way.
I'm done.

P.S : I lay my eyes, thought and heart only to my "present" =)

i'm bored

i'm starting to feel like melting from boredom...................there's basically "nothing to do" at all in medan and i have to be here till the end of february. Great!!

now i'm extremely regretted my decision for not taking summer class n missing all fun chances i could have experience there!!! oh God.. SMS (SAVE MY SOUL!!!!)

anw, beside of those complaints above, life had been great recently. I found quite some friends that i'm comfortable with and off course love is in the air.wakakakakakaka

this might be the last post that i write, i don't really need this blog to share my days since i've found someone that i can share everything with.lol
c ya dude XD>>>>>>>>>>

peace

kind of girl that I want

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- sure

2. Smart?
- definitely

3. Preferred age?
.- younger or older is fine with me

4. Preferred height?
- in range of 160- 170 would be nice =)

5. How about sense of humor?
- yeah

6. How about piercings?
- not too many please.lol

7. Accepts you for who you are?
- yea, but i don't mind if you fix my negative sides

8. Pink hair?
- no please

9. Mushy or no?
- cute if not over.haha

10. Thin or fat?
- thin

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- white n fair will do

12. Long hair or short hair?
- both's fine, i like long better though

13. Plastic or metal?
- ?

14. Smells good?
- nice

15. Smoker?
- i'll help you quit

16. Drinker?
- sometime's fine

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
- don't mind

18. Muscular?
- scary!!

19. Plays piano?
- i love it

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- cool

21. Plays violin?
- =)

22. Sings very good?
- wohooooo!!

23. Vain?
- no

24. With glasses?
- no prob

25. With braces?
- so?

26. Shy type?
- hope not, it'll be bad since i'm alike.lol

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- balance

28. Active or passive?
- it depends

29. Tight or bomb?
- huh?

30. Singer or dancer?
- singer

31. stunner?
- lol

32. hiphop?
- no prob

33. Earrings?
- yea

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?

- go to hell

35. Dimples?
- hopefully

36. Bookworm?

- no no

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- yea

38. Playful?
- yea

39. Flirt?
- only to me

40. Poem writer?
- why not?

41. Serious?
- you gotta be sometimes

43. Painter?
- nice

44. Religious?
- it's up to you, but dun bother me.lol

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- it'll be fun

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- none

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- wow, u gotta teach me then.wakaka

48. Loyal or faithful?
- both

49. good kisser?
- doesn't have to

50. loves children?

- definitely

after that trip.lol

few days ago i went to Malacca, what a great trip dude!!!haha
We went to lotsa great places, having chicken rice balls, sate celup n liong tofu.SLURRRRPPPP!!!!!
and the thing is, I WON the amazing race.yihaaaaaa!!!XD

The next day, believe it or not I woke up and took a shower at 7 o'clock. basically me n my roommate are damn proud for that. We consider it as an achievement.wakakakakakaka

We had our breakfast at 8 n continue our journey to see villages and hindu temple that is located near our temple and lastly we went to the buddhist academy. There's where all of us felt inspired and motivated.... there's a guy, i forgot his name though, he made a speech that open up my eyes and heart. He told us to expand our heart, forgive those who are unkind to us and one day we'll definitely reach the extent where we could endure any kind of problems and still life our life comfortably.

And thanks to that, now i'm able to forgive those who wound me badly. Now there's no more anger and hate in my heart, but i'm still a human being and a student that is still in the process of learning... It'll take me more time, before i could act the way I act towards them before, or at least close to that.lol

Favourite quotation from that day " you must fill your heart with happiness. If your cup of happiness is empty, how would you share the happiness with the others?"

I'm happy now, and i'll keep filling my cup till i met the one that i can share with.haha
c ya my blog.XD

i'm back on blogspotting.:P

It's kinda odd for me to suddenly started to write somethin here again.LOL
it's just that it's been quite a while since i made my last post.Anyway, i'm living a full life in 2009... i got the chance to experience many things that changes my perceptions, my beliefs and etc.

in dec 2008 i had to taste the bitterness and the pain of loving the wrong person...after a long struggles,patience and sacrifices that i've done. She just put a nice end to the relationship that had never actually bloom.. and at the beginning of 2009 i saw the heart aching fact that she was actually belong to someone else....someone that she always said as her brother and there'll be no way for her to fall in love with.. ironic isn't it??haha

since then i've closed my heart for anyone else. i've my trust to girls. it took me a while before I started to realise that she wasn't worth it for me to destroy my own life.
However, the effect caused by the betrayals is just too hard to forget... even now i'm still in the fragile state that I gave up anything that I thought I won't be able to get..

enough for the sentimental side of me. After those unpleasant things crawling over my mind for a few months. There's a girl....she's so different with those i've known before and she's definitely unique in the way she dressed up and hobbies.LOL
At a glance, I saw myself in her. We're somehow have a lot in common. In terms of negative side off course.XD

Without knowing how or why, i've fallen for her.....and luckily this time, she felt the same way too..

normal

nothing special or tense occasion recently
life is so dull and the precious time had been spent way too recklessly by doing unnecessary and meaningless stuffs.
on the other hand, exam is coming T.T and here I am still confuse about all of my subjects and haven't start to revise any of them.
It's not like I don't care a shit about my results later,it's just I'm somehow don't feel like studying yet. Uni life is just sooooo lame........(dunno why some people enjoy it)!!
anyway, I lived my days here with dullness,stressful, empty pocket at the end of each month!!!OMG....need to learn more bout money management laa....next, i just can't correct my bad habit which is soooooo messy!!! I think most people will get either shocked or faint at the time they got into my room.hahaha...just kidding..I'm not at that level yet (at least that's what I think :))

few days ago I got visitors which are my families..yeah!!! It's felt sooo nice when you're able to afford all those tasty foods and don't need to think about over budget (they pay everything!!!).hahaha
then,It's also quite fun to meet my families after a long time with an extra of some cutie cousins that I'm extremely surprised with their development since the last time I met them. all of them can talk already!!that's wonderful thing.
most importantly my grandmother's also came and it makes me feel so good :D...yet kinda unhappy that se had to sit on wheelchair because of injury.damn that doctor!!
anyway,after 5 days of good meals and bed at hotel, I got extra pocket money "again".hahaha
it helps my life a lot and I got more money to spend on foods and definitely no shopping recommended for uni student with tight budget (me).XD

that's all for today...I ran out of ideas and felt tired of writing. ciao